The Moonstruck Columns

Of Marriages And Megaphones

Often have I heard the old joke, and so has everyone else I am sure, that love marriage is like holding the gun at your chest and pulling the trigger while arranged marriage is like asking someone to shoot you. In both cases, you end up dead anyway. But considerable damage can be prevented with the use of certified bulletproof vests even though there can be a little damage followed by swelling of the area but that’s not the point here.

I am just a little older than twenty and don’t have much idea about marriages anyway, except for the fact that my parents are more interested in my marriage than I am and every now and then I get hit by a cannonball containing phrases like – ‘how will you manage with your wife if you can’t adjust with us?’ I wonder, isn’t the answer too obvious? I mean there are loads of stuffs. I would practically be the boss in the house (unless I find myself still living with my parents) which is impossible right now and even if I would still be regularly inquired about the time I get back home, ‘midnight’ as an answer won’t end me up grounded for the rest of the week without television. I could take her to the bar and have a few drinks etc.

I know one of my friends, who is nearly engaged (as soon as he finishes college I guess) and all I can infer from their relationship is that, it’s really beautiful to be in love if you have enough supply of aspirins within your reach. Not that he needs it all the time, but safety is always advised, no matter what. If they manage to be like the couple they are now, they are surely going to be one of those who could prescribe love-marriages to everyone and maybe even end up as preachers; much like Karl Marx would suggest that every country should have a Communist government.

However, for a bloke like my other friend, who often manages to ruin things with the girl he has a crush on, arranged marriage seems to be quite perfect. I am sure the girl would be highly impressed by him at first sight, for he is well behaved, good-looking and all, but I (nobody for that matter) can’t specifically be sure of what might follow afterwards.

So, marriage is much like two sides of a coin. You can’t see the other side if you are currently seeing one (unless you have a mirror nearby) and it can also help you pay your loans and mortgage or even win you a green card in some countries. But, I guess, deriving from the joke I mentioned, in both the cases, you end up killing the bachelor in yourself (if not the bachelor at heart, then at least officially).

So, I would suggest, that if you feel like you are seeing any of the sides of the coin right now, then you are quite lucky. If you find yourself unhappy with the coin halfway, there’s always another dime called divorce. Those who aren’t seeing any coin nearby, but badly want to, should pray regularly. And those who don’t want the coin, go out, the world is yours.

Megaphones, on the other hand, come very handy when you want to invite people to celebrate your bachelor-self’s funeral with a decent supply of wine, free food and lots of music and dancing to go with it as well. Marriage is probably the only type of funeral when people actually enjoy themselves and is most of the time doesn’t take bloodshed into account, unless (god forbid) extreme situations (such as smashed wedding cake) are encountered.


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