The Moonstruck Columns

Snoring Aphrodite

You remember one of those times when you wake up and realise that you are going through your mid-twenties and to make matters worse, you wake up just in time to hear yourself snoring like a Toyota engine but with hiccups?

Well, I always imagined that the universe will give me some kind of a signal when I will be reaching the exact middle of my twenties (somewhat like the Y2K rumour) just to point out that half of the torture is now over. As you must know, I am stuck in a day job, like almost all the people my age and my parents are having a ball asking about it every time they get a chance. In short, life can’t be better.

But compared to people who have been in my position in the history, I am not doing too bad either. Granted, people of my age have achieved greatness in other parts of the world. Some are in relationships whose future look rather bright, some even have managed to achieve excellence in education and sports, and some have even managed to brutally commercialise an event revolving trams and get away with it.

I too have been not too far. I have managed to break boundaries in the field of procrastination, driven at forty-one and a half miles an hour in a forty-miles an hour zone and not get caught, broken the record of the number of disaster dates and lived to tell the tale.

And now that the Copa America has started and the Euro is just around the corner, I realised that Oscar (a soccer player of Brazil, not the award ceremony) is three years younger to me. Huh, I could’ve been a great soccer player, I often think to myself. I can kick rolled up garments right into the shaft of the washing machine and celebrate in my own style (Yes, I have one). Also, while walking, boy can I kick pebbles hitting the person I want on the toes. While others will brand it as bad manners, I would rather call it an impeccable pass. But the world is unappreciative of your talents unless you are on television.

And so to sum up my days in the my mid-twenties, there are a few tips I can give you from personal experiences to those who are still in the first half of their mid-twenties, of course. If you don’t have a bank account, do start having one. For those who had just learnt to drive, learn to look out for cops before shouting mean stuff to the guy who cut you in the middle. And for those who have realised their gift of snoring, keep an eye out for the lubricants commercials. They claim to be effective!

P.S. This article is strictly not meant for people who haven’t encountered the following phrase – “So, when are you thinking of getting married?”

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